Self-compassion
Self-
kindess
Common
humanity
Mindfulness
What is self-compassion?
Having compassion for oneself is truly no different than having compassion for others. Self-compassion involves giving ourselves the same unconditional love, kindness, and gentle care that we would give to a beloved friend, especially in the face of our struggles and pain.
Here, Dr. Kristen Neff, a developer of an empirically-supported training program called Mindful Self-Compassion, describes three core elements of self-compassion.
Though we all have the seeds of fear and anger within us, we must learn not to water those seeds
and instead nourish our positive qualities - those of compassion, understanding, and loving-kindness.
Thich Nhat Hanh
The productivity trap
Sometimes it can be difficult to remember to offer ourselves compassion and kindness, especially when we are feeling stressed, lonely, or down. Many of us receive messages through the media and people in our lives that can also make it challenging to practice self-compassion. For instance, some of us might receive messages that it is always necessary for us to be highly productive, whether that means getting a bunch of work done, being super physically active, or mastering a new, tricky skill. However, we can’t always meet all of our goals all of the time, and what it means to be productive might look different on different days. Should this mean that we are failures if we do not meet our own unrealistic expectations? Having feelings of being seemingly “under-productive” is just one example of an opportunity to practice self-compassion - there are many ways and times that we can offer ourselves kindness!
Cartoon by @decaoezdoodles
Balancing act
Scheduling and engaging in activities that we enjoy can be very helpful in boosting our mood, energy, and well-being. At the same time, it is equally important to recognize that this can all feel like a bit too much at times. Healthy engagement with our lives means that sometimes we might need rest, and other times we might need to try something out in a different way. We shouldn’t feel pressured by our extracurricular or social calendars. Paying attention to ourselves and what we need can only happen when we regard ourselves with self-compassion. When we think of ourselves in this way, we can then practice self-care and treat ourselves compassionately by taking action. Self-care without self-compassion is just going through the motions - both are important and inextricably linked.
Three components of self-compassion in action
Self-
kindess
Common
humanity
Mindfulness
vs.
vs.
vs.
How do I learn and practice self-compassion?
Check out these exercises that you can use in your daily life!
As with all exercises, feel free to take in what speaks to you, and leave what doesn’t fit.
It’s totally fine if not everything is for you.
Tune into different aspects of yourself and how they relate
to each other
The self-critic, the criticized self, and the compassionate self
Print out and fill in our templates above, or use them as guides and inspiration. If you'd like to further explore self-compassion meditations and exercises, check out these resources by Dr. Kristen Neff.